13 Hard Truths That Are Even More Pertinent Today

I’m aware this isn’t your regular travel post that I’m delivering, but this is something I’ve been standing strongly for.

If there’s one good thing that has resulted because of these crazy times, it’s that it forces us to slow down and reflect.

In this period, I’ve asked myself innumerable times about why I do what I do, running a travel blog and being a full-time travel blogger. My answer, when I sought deep in myself, is that I want to inspire people to live well – both meaningfully and happily.

I want people to take action and go from being on the passenger seat of their lives to the driver seat, and start being proactive towards listening more to themselves. So many people these days drown themselves in the noise of society’s expectations that they aren’t even aware that they’ve lost touch with what they truly stand for anymore.

Allas Sea Pool

I actually think this period is good for me. As we get more and more caught up with staying on top, being competitive, going after a career, money and progression, we’ve stopped listening to our own voice. We’ve stopped doing things that makes us who we are.

Take me for instance. As a result of trying to get my articles competitive and on top of Google searches (as that’s my source of income), I’ve written more travel guides and spent less time sharing personal stories about myself. Let’s face it, who’s going to google your story anyway?

Now that no one is searching about destinations for their next holiday, I can finally hit pause on chasing what keywords everyone is searching for and dragging my ass trying to write articles that works well on Google, and instead, start sharing personal stories and writing about issues that I feel strongly for.

It’s also through this unprecedented pandemic that I feel there is an even more pressing need to “humanise” ourselves, to realise that we have to be there for one another, because we are all in it together.

I’ve also begun reading more books about life improvement and having deep conversations with friends about the meaning of life. There were a few ideas that resonated with me that I think more of us to need to hear and pay attention to.

And so I’ve compiled a list of difficult truths below to share with you that we all need to hear and are difficult to apply, but are essential for us to all live a happier, more fulfilled and meaningful life.

13 Hard Truths You Need To Hear Even More So Today

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1. Live mindfully

Mindfulness is being in the moment, and completely in the moment. It’s taking notice of every step, every breath, ever sensation of your pores. Being mindful is about letting your past stay in the past and trusting the future.

It’s not about worrying about what could have, would have or should have happened. We are all culprits of letting our thoughts and concerns take over our minds and letting it rule our emotions. If you’ve ever caught yourself wondering “where did all the time go?!” you’re a victim of mindless living.

DO THIS:

If you’ve ever felt like you have too many thoughts ricocheting in your mind that they can’t seem to be silenced, try this:

Write anything and everything that comes to your mind every time you catch yourself being distracted or affected by your thoughts.

Meditate. Learn to let your thoughts come and go without resisting it or acting on it i.e. building internal conversations around them. Allow moments of silence and nothingness to exist between each thought. It may be uncomfortable at the beginning to allow quiet moments to exist, but like a muscle, you will slowly learn to enjoy focusing on them.

Begin living mindfully by enjoying the food in front of you, tasting every texture, every taste. Look at the view in front of you and notice the movements caused by the wind. Who knows, you may even discover a newfound love right before your very eyes.

2. Live in the real world

In a hyper-connected world, we sometimes base our real lives with the lives people lead online. If you use the Internet for informative, helpful things or for keeping in touch with family abroad, good for you. For the rest of us that don’t, we start being sucked into the comparison game and use it to escape reality. We always wish we were someplace else, doing something else.

In a world where everything is online, we are facing increasing cases of depression, suicide, stress, loneliness, poor social skills, low self-esteem and lack of physical exercise. How many hours a day do you spend surfing Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and chatting on WhatsApp?

A book I read by Ariana Huffington shares this social experiment that i think is worth trying: next time you’re at a dining table, everyone has to surrender their phones to a corner. Anyone who reaches over for their phone first will be the one footing the bill.

There are other ways to incorporate more offline work:

• Instead of reading articles online, go to the library and borrow a book.
• When engaging in an outdoor activity like hiking or strolling on a beach, switch off your mobile data.
• The next time you’re tempted to continue a conversation over messaging, call that person to converse instead.
• Write a postcard or a letter to an overseas friend. Writing by hand is a long-forgotten art, and writing to someone by hand conveys your sincerity and is way more personal than typing an email out.
• Instead of chatting on a group chat, invite your friends over to a board game.

Every time you’re tempted to keep yourself busy with your phone while waiting for a bus or walking on a street, pay attention to what’s in front of you instead. People watch.

3. Seek simplicity

We live in a world where it has become a norm to be doing multiple things at the same time. Replying emails while ordering coffee, checking the news while crossing the road, keeping up with your friends’ lives while commuting… (I’m guilty of all of the above…) It can be uneasy not to fill every moment with things that keep you occupied or productive.

We then escape this “busyness” by planning vacations that only happen for only 2 weeks in an entire year. Do you realise how much toll you’re putting on your body the other 351 days of the year?

DO THIS:

Maybe it’s time to keep it simple. Be 100% honest and not take on more than you think you can.

Declutter your life – think twice before acquiring something new. Ask yourself if you truly need it. Try letting go of material possessions little by little. You’ll realise that not only do you have more space at home, but also in your mind.

4. Have a life outside of work

Your work does not define you. What you deeply care about, what makes you excited to wake up everyday, our routines that feed our joy, our honest pain, our laughter, our earned tears… they are what makes us who we are.

Not other people’s priorities, not society’s standards. And we should never let work consume us that we forget who we are.

DO THIS:

Write down what sparks you. Be honest about them. Is it the environment? Painting? Bringing up a family?

In order to find out who you are and what you’re meant to be, eliminate who you are NOT first, and you’ll find yourself right where you need to be. Then, work backwards and write down steps on how you can make time for them in your life.

It may be a deep, dark tunnel you think you currently are stuck in, but as long as there is another day, there is always hope. We are never too young, or too old to be who we want to be, because the choice is always in our hands.

We are the architects of our own lives.

5. You’re never too old

As we get older, the need to conform or impress other people decreases. You may have less responsibilities to take on, and that frees you to express who you really are or want to be. It can be liberating to no longer be held back by others’ expectations of you.

Life is too short to live someone else’s life. Truly live your own life, while you still can. Don’t let age be an excuse for not chasing your interests. If not now, when?

What are some of the hobbies, passions and desires that took a back seat because of your career, family and responsibilities? It could be learning judo, dancing, singing, painting or learning a new language. Dedicate some time every day to engage in it.

You don’t have to justify to anyone your choices. Don’t let anyone make you feel ashamed. Be proud of yourself.

6. Say yes

“It’s not the things we do in life that we regret. It’s the things we do not. “

Say yes when others say no. Sure, humans are naturally averse to risk, it is scary to tread on a path no one has treaded before. Know the difference between giving yourself excuses and missing valuable opportunities.

DO THIS:

Here’s how to deal with it. Write down the worst situations that can happen if you said yes. What do you have to lose compared to what you would potentially stand to gain? Ask your future self if you would thank yourself for saying yes now or would you regret if you said no? What is holding you back? Would you need a second perspective? If so, speak to someone.

7. Trust yourself

Bhutan

Disappointing people is part of finding your own way in life. There will never be a shortage of people who care about you in your life, who want to advise you and create expectations on who, what, where and how you should be, such as your parents.

Of course, I’m not saying you shouldn’t listen to people with experience and wisdom, but sometimes, these well-intentioned guidance is based on others’ experiences, aspirations and definitions of success – something that you might personally define differently.

You need to know that it’s okay to have your own kind of success, to not follow the same route as your predecessors, to be different.

Staying true and authentic to yourself, you can never go wrong with happiness.

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

I know it can be hard, especially when we live in a people-pleasing culture like Asia. But ask yourself this: if you never take a shot at something, will you ever have a shot at realising your true potential?

Do you want to live a life of pleasing others, sometimes at the expense of your own happiness? If you know you can justify yourself yet feel like you’re constantly disappointing the people around you by doing what fuels you, move on from them. True friends support you.

Be ready for people to say “I told you so,” but don’t let that stop you. No one ever got to the top by not failing.

8. Be okay with failing

When was the last time you failed at something? When was the last time you held yourself back from doing something for fear of failure? Whether it is changing careers, leaving a toxic relationship, taking a gap year or making a drastic change in life.

More often than not, it’s this fear of missing out and living too much of your life in your head that stops us from realising your potential. The potential income, the time lost, the fear of loneliness, the fear of what others may think of you…

You are the very person stopping yourself from success.

DO THIS:

It’s time to think for yourself. How important is taking this step leading you to your life’s direction? Towards greater happiness, liberation or fulfilment of life?

There can be no breakthrough without risks. Envisage the ideal version of yourself and everything you can be. Look up people who’ve been there and done that, and use them as your role models. They will give you the confidence to take these necessary risks.

You might have to fail and try again, but this is the price every successful person has to pay to get to where they are.

9. Focus on what you have

Girls I played and stayed with in Bhutan

Stop crying over what you have lost and start enjoying what you have gained. When we’re in our teens, we wished we can be someone else, be someplace else, do something else. When we’re in our forties, we miss the uncomplicated, carefree, energetic, responsibility-free days of our younger selves.

It’s time to stop wishing we were someone else. Instead of focusing on what we’re losing out, focus on what we’re gaining. Embrace the wisdom, experience, insight, opportunities that you’ve taken, adventures you’ve experienced.

DO THIS:

Don’t live in denial about your current predicament or try to fight your present moment with short-term distractions that give you the illusion of escape (i.e. video games, TV dramas, work).

Remember that you can never live the same version of yourself that you are now, so make full use of what you have at the present moment. Focus on your achievements and what you have today. Be content with what you have been through because it moulded you to become who you are today – the stronger, more resilient, more courageous, more independent you compared to your younger, more inexperienced self.

10. Be thankful

Research shows that being grateful is good for your health. It improves the quality of your sleep, your moods and leads to better heart health. You also have a more optimistic outlook in life and are happier as a result of having a more thankful disposition.

It’s easy to lament about life rather than be thankful for it. We can sometimes lose sight of the big picture and wallow in faults and inconveniences. We have become too caught up in our lives to stand back and be thankful for what we have. Not to mention the Internet that has led us to build unreasonable expectations of life and what you should be doing or achieving, rather than celebrating what you already have.

Little by little, you can introduce gratitude in your life. Before you criticise, try to be grateful about the situation you’re in.

DO THIS:

Have a gratitude journal where each day, you’ll write 3-5 things you’re grateful for. Try to go beyond the weather, food or a roof above your head and think deeper. If you’re thankful for someone, let them know that you are. There’s nothing more empowering than being appreciated.

11. Focus on things you can control

And stop worrying about what you can’t. It’s a total waste of your energy complaining about things you can’t change, energy that can otherwise be funnelled into more productive avenues, into things that you can influence.

What have you recently complained about? The weather? Your colleagues? The environment? Do you find yourself blaming external circumstances for a result you’re not happy with? Think about what the point of channelling all that negative energy to someone or something else and letting it fester. Is that something that can make the world a better place, or put you in a better place?

DO THIS:

Be realistic about what you cannot control and focus your attention on what you can. You have everything you need to make a change; you just have to start with yourself – a shift in your thoughts, emotions, reactions, mindset, beliefs.

Start noting down your behaviours and taking an active step towards shifting your point of view.

12. Notice your environment

Is your environment polluted? Polluted environments are bad for your health, cause stress and make you unhappy.

It could be working in an office with no natural light or fresh air, sleeping in a room with the constant noise of a railway or highway traffic or having to tune out smoke or the smelly canal. Conversely, have you ever felt the effects of being in nature and away from crowds and the traffic? How it soothes, relaxes and calms you?

It’s not just about your environment. It could also be the people you surround yourself with. Are they complainers and moaners? Do they never seem content with life? Are they constantly harried?

It’s these little environmental effects that affect our health and stress that we sometimes overlook or think we have to endure. But the truth is, we don’t.

DO THIS:

Learn to spot and recognise signs of your environment affecting your happiness and wellness. Change what you can and accept what you cannot.

It could be getting an air purifier, investing in a heater, buying some house plants or decluttering. Take active steps to get away from negativity, and surround yourself with what makes you light-hearted instead.

13. Get more quality sleep

Sleep isn’t overrated. Sleep deprivation causes you to lose sharpness, concentration, patience increases stress levels and weakens the immune system. The list goes on.

Don’t think that sleeping in on weekends will help you catch up on sleep either. In fact, the Monday blues is your body struggling to cope with the “jet lag” – your body is struggling to get used to a different sleeping pattern after a weekend of sleeping in.

DO THIS:

Switch on blue light filter on your screens.

The next time you go to bed, switch off all electronic devices an hour before bedtime. Use that hour before bed to do something relaxing, like reading a book, listening to music, gazing into the sky or doing some stretching exercises.

Aim to get at least 7 hours of sleep. When asleep, make sure your phone will not disrupt you, and that light and traffic noise are kept to a minimum.

In the morning, give yourself time to wake up and prepare for the day by setting your alarm a few minutes earlier. Nothing sets the tone more wrongly than having to stress about being late for work.

I hope you don’t just treat this as another article you read and forget, but actually take steps to work on yourself and invest in yourself, because at the end of the day, you are all that you’ve got!

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