2020 – A Reawakening.

While everyone would be working on year-end round ups and Christmas gift posts, I would spend that time in December reflecting on the year and writing up reflection posts.

I was late to the party this year due to the fact that I’ve been having too much fun spending December in Costa Rica, surfing and beach-hopping while I still had time there.

• 

• 

This post is overdue but it’s still a ritual I personally would write to myself anyway, to refer to and look back on years down the road.

Meditation is to you what writing is for me – better clarity and a sense of renewal from each session. It’s as if I can’t move forward with 2021 without cleaning the rear view mirror of my car that is 2020.

My 2020 started off pretty much like everyone else, spending most of the months stuck at home and trying to go through a long distance relationship.

10 months into binge watching interior design shows and camper van conversions later, I bade goodbye to Singapore and my boy (now ex) from Hawaii (who later ended up in jail in November – a story for another time) with a one-way ticket to Seattle.

24 hours later than planned (I was detained in Tokyo Narita airport…) and USD700 poorer (I was forced to pay a security guard to keep watch over me overnight in Tokyo’s airport…), I finally made it to the US. Coming to the US is never easy – I always get subjected to questioning (I was asked my reasons for coming to the US by 4 separate officers in the course of me alighting the flight to collecting my baggage and stepping out of the airport door.)

The destinations I’d go in 2020 would be decided by who I’ll meet, not where I want to go. It’s not the first time I booked a one-way ticket, but it was the first time I booked a flight with no plan in mind.

I was relying on blind faith that I could count on my friends in the US. (And they’ve been more supportive and helpful than I could’ve ever imagined.)

I was refraining from making plans as much as possible so that I could take this time to focus inward and work. After all, with the slump in travel, this travel blog (and my business/ income) had inadvertently been affected, so I couldn’t justify making travel plans and having fun.

Little did I know (well, I should know me better), this girl can never say no to adventures.

Some trip highlights in the time I was in the US include:

• Almost freezing to death camping in -12˚C/11F weather thanks to an unprecedented homicide situation which we came face-to-face with
• Car camping for 7 days straight, which means
• Not showering for 7 days straight, unless you count waterfall and natural hot spring dips 
• Free soloing for the first time (aka rock climbing without ropes. If you’ve watched the documentary Free Solo, you’ll understand how monumental/ out of the comfort zone it is for me)

• 

• 

• Doing a multi-pitch rock climbing route (what this means is instead of just reaching the top at one go, you break it up into several sections to reach the top), ascending 200 metres high
• Eating elk meat for 2 solid weeks because Chris had hunted down this poor elk just a few days before I arrived
• Being stuck in a snowstorm in Ouray, Colorado and watching icicles form on rooftops
• Going squirrel-hunting (with a rifle!)

From Seattle, Death Valley and Colorado, I spent the second half of my time in the US in California, exploring Palm Springs, Santa Barbara, Pacific Northwest, and then back to San Francisco and LA again.

• 

It was surreal to be revisiting the places I’d been exactly a year before. It was surreal to be meeting and staying (again) with people I thought I’d never see again. I sure as hell did not plan to be back in San Francisco nor LA again. Yet, each trip gave me unique experiences I’ll learn from and fostered relationships with deeper connections.

CHECKED OFF A NEW COUNTRY

By another’s decision, I ended up visiting Costa Rica and Mexico (only in 2021), 2 new countries on my list of countries visited.

In all honesty, It was with reluctance that I’d leave the US to enter Costa Rica, a country I knew nothing about. For I’d found a home away from home and had become accustomed to life in LA, pet sitting Chris’ German Shepherd, Lady. I also can never get enough of LA sunsets!

• 

• 

Early in my trip in Costa Rica, I’d hear conversations about how “Costa Rica is a country you can never just visit once.” I’d twitch my ears and think they were just being humble.

Little did I know, I’d come to live and love Costa Rica so much, more specifically the beach town I spent 5 weeks in, Tamarindo.

I rang in the New Year with strangers and new friends on the beach in Tamarindo, where hundreds gathered, arm to arm with each other, watching fireworks flying from the beach.

That was in spite of the police mandating bars to be closed by 8pm and the beach to be off limits. I was living in a pre-COVID bubble and everyone here was embracing a life the rest of the world had forgotten.

• 

6 weeks later, I now know why. Writing this from Mexico after being here for 2 weeks, my heart is definitely home sick for Costa Rica and all my days of surfing there. I’ll share more about Tamarindo’s addictive appeal in my travel guide on Tamarindo.

WHY I LEFT HOME

Being on the road this time held a different meaning. It wasn’t about checking places as it is about connecting with people and living different versions of “homes.”

In retrospect, these experiences of living with friends in Seattle, Colorado and California brought me closer to the meaning of “home,” one of the big life question I’ve been pondering for the most part of 2020.

I’ve only realised in December (through a mushroom revelation) that it’s been the impetus and the purpose that drives me to keep on travelling (or maybe it comes with age?).

Let’s just say I’m on a quest to discover that dream location that will call out to me and my imaginary dog when I’ve found it. It’ll be a place that’ll fill me with so much inspiration and positive energy that I can be 100% in my element and a 100% thriving when I’m in there.

There are a few people who’ve seemed to have found it – @sallymustang, @theblondeabroad, @tailsofamermaid, whom I hold in high regard.

‘Til then, I’ll keep looking. 🙂

• 

You know how there are some days you wish you could stretch forever, others when you can’t wait for it to be over?

Moments like:

• When it’s winter and the fireplace is going; the light is warm, the couch is cosy, jazz music playing in the background. It’s just me, my skin against a blanket and a warm embrace as we watch the firewood crackle together.
• When we took the boat out for a rendezvous, and decided to stop it in the middle of the ocean. We lie down and stare out into the big blue sky and the birds that fly past our limited vantage point.
• When the faintest of morning hues hit my eyelids and I awake. I step out of the RV only to come face to face with California’s ocean. I watch as the world come to life, one second at a time.

• 

Call me a romantic, or perhaps it’s quite the reason why I’m mesmerised by sunsets – it’s my way of prolonging each beautiful day and stretching it out for as long as I can.

Apart from it being a golden hour, watching the colours of the sky turn from baby blue to crimson orange, a colour that seemingly takes over the entire universe and reflects warmly on every object large and small presents quite a magical moment for me. It’s like my whole world has been put on a hold so that I can savour the beauty before me.

It’s such a personal yet profound moment.

This very much makes up the reason why I travel. It makes my every second precious, knowing that that very second, wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, will never again be relived, no matter how much you try to recreate it. I’ve learned to value time much more, and hold on to moments and people like it was my very last.

They say you’re the sum of the 5 people closest to you. I get away so I can choose who I want to be surrounded with. And I want them to be people who understand the beauty of travel, who’re supportive of my endeavours, my lesser trodden path, my wildest dreams.

I wanted to remove the negativity of the environment I was in, such as:

• being wrapped around the news of COVID-19 on TV every night
• the negative, avoidance mindsets that stop me from dreaming wild, crazy, open, electric dreams
• the guilt from not working “enough” when 9 out of 10 of my friends are working full-time jobs
• people who seem to scrutinise my every action and make me feel like I should be shameful about them, even if I’m not at all ashamed about the whole USA deportation saga (really, why should I be? It’s the country’s loss.)

Sometimes you don’t even know you’re in a toxic environment until you’re 10 feet away from it.

On the flip side, the things you take for granted you don’t know you took for granted until you are removed from it. such as clean water (you can’t drink from the tap water in Mexico), a clean home (you’ll never have clean feet living in the beach town I lived in in Costa Rica), reliable transportation, long daylight hours, etc.

Being on a constant move keeps me on my toes. While the nagging feeling of not working enough is always there, much like juggling being a mum, wife, daughter and a boss all in one of you, I prioritise.

I’ve found that working on limited time and capacity has worked the best for me. It prevents me from dwelling too long and hard on an idea that has no eventuality, and exposes me to meeting more people and hearing more stories where I can gain inspiration from.

Honestly, I meet more like-minded people on the road than from back at home. Even if they live in a treehouse with no WiFi. Even if they live a sheltered life in an apartment in San Francisco. Or a mobile home on 4 wheels. I actually call these people to chat more often than I’ve called friends I’ve known for years back in Singapore.

Speaking of phone calls. From my early days texting under the table in secondary school, I’ve never been a talker, more a texter. I convey my thoughts and emotions better when carefully worded out. Yet I have regular phone conversations now. Sometimes video calls. Do you know that I also write snail mail letters? I love embracing old school!

HOME

• 

• 

• 

My word for 2021 is HOME.

A sense of belonging. A place to be unapologetically me. A cocoon.

Yes I love a country cabin or a beach house, but I could never do all that if the social element was missing. There are certain places that make me feel at home, such as Tamarindo and Cape Town, but it’d have held a whole separate meaning if I hadn’t met who I met in those places.

This has all but fortified my biggest takeaway of 2020 – that relationships matter.

It’s also the first time I embraced slow travel to a T. Before, there would always be this nagging deadline for when I’d have to return back home to Singapore because of a return ticket or an expiring travel insurance (Singapore’s travel insurances mandate you return to your home country within 90 days for your insurance to cover your travel). Singapore has thus always been my “base,” and I’ve never ventured far from it nor considered setting up base anywhere else.

What’s funny is, since being on the road, the yearning of having my own place increases with time, so much so that I started looking at places to rent in Singapore.

After some initial searching for places to stay on my own in Singapore, I gave up. It just doesn’t make sense paying USD600 in monthly rentals to stay in a room with 3 other roommates at a place that’s a mere 30-minute ride from your own home, where everything is provided for (cooked food, laundry and otherwise). 

Thanks to COVID-19, going home whenever I want is no longer an option. (I face a SGD2000 quarantine fee if I should decide to return now.) This allows me to freely explore the breadth of what “home” means to me.

My ideas are now free to roam more freely – do I want to set up base in Mexico? Costa Rica? Some other island? I’ve also started exploring monthly rentals as opposed to couple nights’ stay in each destination, and that’s something I’ve never done before!

(MORE) SELF-DISCOVERIES

I always thought I liked being alone. I’d take the time to go to the beach on my own, or simply because I can walk at my own pace and not talk when I don’t want to. I always thought that as an introvert, I’m not much of a social person.

Yet a surprising discovery I’ve found about myself is that I’m an introverted social creature. I’m actually spurred by social interactions.

Simply put, holding in all that negativity suffocates me; I need a bitch around for me to rant to whenever I’m feeling upset or down!

While I’m terrible at talking to strangers and don’t do well in large social groups, whoever who plucks the courage (that I sometimes lack but am working on) to strike a conversation with me will quickly find out about my warm personality.

LOSING MY RIGHT-HAND MAN

After the whole saga of having to live without my phone for 2 weeks, I had to rely all but myself for alarm clocks, navigation, mentally calculating exchange rates, and mentally taking pictures of the beautiful sights I’ve seen. This has surely taught me quite a few life lessons for 2021.

I’ve learned to listen to my body better. I’ve learned to use my body as its own natural alarm clock. I’ve learned to be more attuned to my surroundings, such as using the sun acts as a natural compass for directions and the time. I’m trying to be more sensitive to my 5 senses, from my sight to my smell.

Why aren’t we making better use of the gifts we’ve been gifted rather than rely on technology?

2020 TAKEAWAYS

After my first mushroom trip on Christmas of 2020 in Costa Rica, I feel like I see the world in a different light now.

It’s as if I’ve experienced a breakthrough, a release, a revelation; the kind you feel when you come out afresh and enlightened from a counselling/ therapy session (not that I ever did one). The lenses on my screen are rubbed clean. The dots are connected. Every misfortune, every occurrence, every encounter is explained. I see the answer to my life’s answer, I’ve found the higher purpose of why I’m doing what I do. It’s as if the answer had been there all along, and I just had to quieten my life and focus my intent to discover what it is.

I sound like I’m blabbering, but for those who know, you know what I mean. It’s such a profound feeling that I’ve talked this through with some people about my experience, who’ve provided further insight on why I’m feeling what I’m feeling.

In any case, here are some 2020 takeaways:

• Relationships matter. They’re the ones who throw you a life buoy when you’re sinking.
• Kindness from strangers do really exist, since the very first time I started couchsurfing in Europe.
• Be discerning about who you entrust your feelings to.
• Everything happens for a reason; they will guide your path and act as a beacon to light the way in your personal conquest. So be kind to yourself and every mishap, every misfortune, or every accident that happen along the way.
• What you think matters don’t actually do in the grand scheme of things. So don’t fret on the little mundane things and make your life harder than it already is. Declutter and free up physical and mental space so that you have more room to grow and flourish.
• Fear is a state of mind. There’ll be those that perpetuate fear like a self-fulfilling prophecy from drowning themselves in senseless media, and there’ll be others who know life is too short not to live each day as if it doesn’t matter.
• What a surprising minimalist lifestyle I can live! I’ve been living out of a carry on suitcase for months now. One, it’s cheaper to just travel with a carry on. Two, my large suitcase is currently stuck in the US (where I’m not permitted to enter).

2020 was also my first foray into independent nomading, completely cut loose of a boyfriend or a loyal companion. It’s a strange feeling, going to a house party where I’m allowed to and encouraged to mingle, to be given free rein (even encouraged) to make friends and hang out with the opposite sex.

In 2021, I want to…

Work towards finding my own version of HOME, including slow living so that wherever I stay, it’ll feel as close to what I call “home” as much as possible.

Reduce my reliance on technology. I’ve never been much of a TV-watcher or a game player, but I have to admit I enjoy mindless scrolling through social media for life updates (that don’t concern me) for the purpose of so-called ” getting inspiration.” I want to reduce that time spent in 2021.

Redefine my purpose for using Instagram. It’s a place I go to share about myself and post pretty pictures. it’s a platform I present to potential sponsors who enjoy being led on by big numbers as a condition for working with “influencers” these days. In 2021, I will work towards posts that are less about me (do you really want to hear about me, after all?) and more about the beauty of travel, getting out of your comfort zone and working towards living the life you’ve always dreamed of.

Make it less about me, more about YOU. Part of my nature has always been focused on self-improvement. How to be a better person. How to live life right. How to be more likeable. This year, I want to make it about YOU, which is why I created courses to help those who’re bloggers like myself reach a bigger audience, monetise, and eventually be able to work independent of location, doing the things they love.

Earn well-deserved “play” days without the feeling of guilt. According to the 4-Hour Work Week by Tim Ferris, mental endurance wax and wane. Alternating periods of activity and rest is necessary to survive and thrive. One thing about being a digital nomad and working for yourself rather than for clients is the fact that you manage your own time and workload (which I wouldn’t trade for the world!). While I do separate work and play time, I do get guilty whenever I’m “not working”, because it feels like everyone else is working harder than you. This feeling of guilt is something I wish to dispel.

Pay it forward. Know that life as I’m living it is a life I’ve always dreamt of, and that is enough. I want to help others – less privileged or otherwise – to be able to discover the magic of travel by making it more accessible to them.

• 

As a travel blogger and a friend to some kind-hearted people, I’ve been given the opportunities to take trips and live certain experiences that I’d never otherwise think to do – white shark cage diving and safari tours in Africa (2019), skydiving and visiting glaciers in New Zealand (2018), visiting overwater villas in the Maldives (2017) and so many other precious, little moments in between.

I remember the first time I took my extremely talented photographer and amazing friend, Hafiz, to an all-expense work trip to Helsinki. It was his first trip to Europe, and that trip took him out of his creative rut and unleashed all the vibrance he never knew he was capable of possessing in a way I’d never seen before.

• 

• 

• 

That trip changed something in the both of us. In a way, I feel like the joy of seeing someone feel the full spectrum of what a trip away from one’s comfort zone is far outweighs my own personal experience of travelling.

Since then, I’ve also taken one other really talented friend, Jing Xin, to a highly coveted trip to Bhutan.

This year, I’m working on using whatever means I can to get my Costa Rican friend to come over to Mexico for a month (it helps that Mexico is affordable and Costa Rica is nearby!). He’s both a bright and hardworking one, and apart from selfish reasons like having a companion to giggle with (oh, the effects of weed..), cook with, tie my hair, squeeze my blackheads, tell me the truths I need to hear and help translate Spanish for me, I believe he (and so many others) deserves the opportunity to see the world, expand his perspective and have those opportunities available for him too.

You just emerge a different kind of person when you’ve seen the other side of the globe.

---

Gee, that was quite a round up! I know I don’t post enough of my personal life here, so I hope this lengthy post more than makes up for what’s going on with this “girl behind the screen.”

As always, I’d love to hear what you think, including what your plans are for 2021. The easiest way to get in touch is to drop me a DM on Instagram! Alternatively, you can fill in this contact form. I always reply!

Let’s spur each other on for another new year, shall we?

‘Til then, I’m back to tanning/ writing on the beach. Oh, did I fail to mention I’m writing this piece as I’m in my bikini on a beach towel from the beach of Puerto Aventuras? The party boats are blasting trance music, the offshore wind is cool on my warm, brown skin. This is the place where my inner voice shines the loudest!

If my journey happens to pique your interest, sign up for my newsletter to receive more periodic updates! I’ll see you in Playa del Carmen and Oaxaca in the next few days/ month! 🙂

Love and light,
Bel